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Myth of Magnetism

transformation Jul 10, 2011

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not
serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure
around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of
God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our
own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

~ Marianne Williamson

In popular Western culture, the still-dominant view of what makes a woman powerfully magnetic is her appearance and how closely it matches our current standards of beauty. While knowledge power and financial power are certainly more important qualities for women than they used to be, her physical appearance is still the main determinant of a woman’s ability to attract love.

The unspoken promise at the start of any diet is, ‘Love will come – will be more prominent in my life – when I’m thinner.’ Whether we’re CEO’s, construction workers, or full-time moms, the fulfillment of love is essential to the vast majority of women. Why, with all the advances in social equality we’ve celebrated over the last 50 years, is love still so important to the female persuasion?

To answer this question, we have to understand the difference between social gender equality (such as equal pay, equal opportunity, equal rights) and sexual essence. Social gender equality, like racial equality, is still a work in progress in the United States. While it is a crucial area for human development and evolution, it is not our focus in this exploration. Sexual essence, however, brings several fascinating jewels to light in our understanding of women, weight, and magnetism.

Sexual essence is not directly correlated to gender. According to David Deida, the pioneering teacher of sexual essence, about 80% of women and 20% of men have a feminine sexual essence (with the opposite numbers for masculine sexual essence). Since we all have right and left (feminine and masculine) hemispheres of the brain, both men and women possess and are capable of developing the full range of masculine and feminine qualities and capacities. However, at our spiritual core, our sexual essence tends to be either strongly or subtly more masculine or feminine.

Women or men with a feminine sexual essence are in search of and fulfilled by Love. We spend billions of dollars on weight loss, cosmetics, surgery, jewelry, and clothing to attract love (or whatever forms we interpret as loving – attention, safety, caring) to us. What advertisers don’t want us to realize is that our ability to be magnetically attractive is less about our outer appearance and more a function of the fullness of our hearts.

Radiance, our inner shine, is the core of the feminine and the center of our magnetism. Increasing our embodiment of love grows our glow just as increasing the wattage of a light bulb raises its brightness. Being magnetically radiant is available to every woman with a feminine sexual essence, regardless of age, body shape, or the number of wrinkles on her face.

There is a way to actualize your deep longing to feel radiant, magnetic, and beautiful. Losing weight and having plastic surgery are NOT the first steps. The first steps are learning to fill yourself with your own radiance – to be full of the love, truth, and beauty that you are.

This is not what we’re used to. We’re used to comparing ourselves to other women and the physical cultural ideal of beauty. And coming up short.

Since the vast majority of women’s bodies do not fit our current unnatural standards of beauty (most of us are not freaks of nature with huge boobs and no hips), most of us tend to react to this fact of popular perception in a couple of ineffective ways. We rebel against the standards and say, “How I look shouldn’t matter.” Leading us to disregard anything that smacks of conforming (like exercising, eating well, caring for our skin and body, attention to dress).

Or we desperately try to conform by forcing, contorting, and twisting ourselves into the ideal. Often women swing back and forth between the two. In both of these scenarios, something essentially important is missing. Tending to the unique beauty that is You.

While the stance of “refusing to obsess about my appearance” can be a developmental step for those who once suffered from body and food control, too often it stops at a shallow kind of pseudo-self-acceptance. We know our self-acceptance is false when it breeds denial and physical neglect.

It’s understandable though, isn’t it? Especially when the only other way to deal with the issue of beauty is to try to make oneself something one is not. It makes sense that we might want to give up or strictly focus on the masculine capacities we’ve worked hard to develop – successful careers, advanced degrees, leadership positions, and financial power – instead of our feminine core.

Plus we may have good reasons from our past for not wanting to be attractive. “What if I become magnetic and attract sexual advances I can’t handle?” Or we may be afraid of being too much, too sensitive, too sexual, too selfish, or too full of ourselves, like it’s a bad thing.

While our reasons for avoiding the subject of our attractiveness makes sense, there are consequences. Compulsive eating, excess weight, and credit card debt, to name a few.

Women with a feminine essence long to feel filled with Love. And we’ll do just about anything to avoid the experience of feeling empty of it.

As though it could satisfy the emptiness in our hearts, we fill our stomachs overly full with food. We respond to our spiritual emptiness with physical matter – food, clothes, alcohol, sex, stuff. But it never satisfies. How terribly frustrating to want something so much but not be able to have it because we are trying to get it in a way that can’t possibly give it to us.

Cultivating love, generating our own fullness, is the only thing that sates our deep feminine hunger. You will learn exactly how to do this as part of Taking Your True Shape. The perfect place to begin is where you are – even if that is a place of self-loathing.

You are not dependent upon your genetics or the opinion of others to feel full of the love that you are. You can generate the love you seek by strengthening the source of your shine. Rather than being selfish or self-centered, being full-filled within yourself makes you naturally generous, overflowing your love to your partner, family, community, and world.

We’re going to dive into this new territory together. You’ll have lots of support for understanding and moving through the good reasons you’ve had for diminishing your radiance. You’ll discover for yourself that, whether you are a woman or man, more masculine or feminine – however you identify – permanent weight loss, increased self-care, optimal partnerships, supportive relationships, and meaningful work are part of the flow of embodying your feminine radiance. There are very few role models for women and girls of this essentially feminine way of being, but it’s not just for them. We owe it to ourselves, and every human being on this planet, to embody our deepest shine.


How do you feel about being a woman (or a man or however you identify)?

Make a list of your strengths. Are they more masculine or feminine-oriented?

Make a list of what makes you feel beautiful.

Do you feel you are attractive or magnetic? If yes, how? If not, why not?


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