Trying so hard to fix myself, I got more stuck every time I tried. My trouble with weight brought me to my knees. From somewhere inside, came a desire and a commitment that I later realized was the beginning of my last weight loss program. It was this: I made an innocent but sincere commitment to understanding the truth about my issues with food and weight. Whatever it took. No matter what.
At the time I had no idea how important it was. Now I see Grace engaged my vanity for the sake of my soul. Then I thought if I just work at hard figuring this out I’ll be thin in a year and live...
When I turned 21, I celebrated the weekend with my first true love, a man with whom I was engaged to be engaged. A couple of weeks later a friend called to ask me if I knew he was engaged to his old girlfriend.
No, of course, I hadn’t known. I was devastated.
Clearly I could not trust myself with food or men. I immediately gave up on both and gained over 100 pounds in a year. Without any skills to cope with the loss of the relationship, I numbed myself with working, eating, and sleeping between irrepressible tears and self-blame.
Five years later, I was nearly finished with my...
Hope you're soaking up the last rays of summer's bright light!
3 Quick Summer BodySoul Snacks...
1. Surgery Update. As I mentioned in my last message to you on July 4th, I had surgery for a common but often overlooked condition. In my video update (above) I give you the scoop on that condition (and how to make sure you or your loved one doesn't suffer unnecessarily) along with a quick update about my healing process.
2. Bonus Session Special. After working with some wonderful clients who took advantage of my early summer 3-session special, I now have a little room left...
Walking in beach sand at 300-pounds made me pant, sweat, and curse my excess flesh. But that is another lifetime now.
Over 20 years ago a miracle happened. After weighing over 300-pounds twice, I lost 150- pounds for the last time and became one of the one-half percent of people who lose more than 100-pounds and keep it off for more than five years without surgery.
Every single day I feel grateful for the freedom to do little things I was once unable to do – cross my legs, slip through turnstiles, spring up from the floor, fit in airplane seats, ride roller coasters, and stroll on the...
My first memory of compulsive eating happened when I was about 7. My mom, my little brother, and I had just gotten home from grocery shopping. My brother and I were happily watching “Kimba the White Lion” on black and white TV with snacks while Mom put away groceries and started dinner.
A short time later, I heard a gasp coming from the kitchen, “Becky!” Did you eat that whole box of Pizza Spins?!”
I remember the flush of shame filling my face along with my own shock at the truth of the matter.
The box was just about empty and I didn’t remember...
A couple of months into the fast, Chris, a dieting buddy and computer friend of mine, could no longer stand it. “I want what you have,” she said. “You’re committed, you’re finally doing it, you’re losing weight and feeling great, you’re happy and successful. I want that too.”
I thought, ‘Yeah, all that’s true.’ After countless hours of commiserating with her about not being able to lose weight, all of a sudden I was in the flow. How did this happen? Why this time? Why now? What do I have? And how did I get it?’
At the...
That question and quest energized me in ways I’d never before experienced. My motivation was no longer just about me. On behalf of myself and all those who struggled with obesity, I wanted to learn everything I possibly could about the permanent weight loss from the experts at this premiere obesity research program. So I attended their weekly classes religiously. I took every course they offered three times, memorizing and absorbing as much as I could about what they knew.
They primarily used a behavioral-education model and taught us their cutting-edge medical knowledge about weight...
After several days of struggling, I remembered my commitment to the truth. Perhaps I hadn’t done enough to understand the emotions connected with my eating. Clearly I remembered everything I’d been taught in the program. I knew enough to teach their classes. I got it. But it wasn’t enough.
So I redoubled my effort to understand my inner life and started reading three to five books a week. I claimed my inner child, healed the shame that bound me, and was codependent no more. The reading was interesting and evocative but my eating was still out of control.
Each year the...
I expected Chip to feel at least as disgusted with my body as I did. While my body size was not his preference, his love for me never waivered. Instead of rejecting or badgering me to lose weight as I was doing to myself, he was kind, empathetic, compassionate, and curious. As a highly educated professional fitness trainer, he was surprised and intrigued by how easily my body gained weight.
It was as though we were sitting together in a movie theater watching what was happening with my body on the screen. He would objectively point to interesting things in my experience, fascinated and...
Skillful outer support allowed me to deeply enquire into my patterns with food. Each habit revealed a way my false but familiar shape – my ego – did it’s best to support and guide me in the absence of something more loving, true, and real.
Disengaging from negatively judging, comparing, and depriving myself made space for me to find an inner source of guidance that knows what’s truly best for me and shows me the way with love, efficiency, and brilliance.
Enquiring into my willful rebellion with food transformed my self-destruction into true strength, determination,...
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